Guest Post: How to Encourage Your Husband to be the Leader of the Family

Married couple(Photo Credit)

Editor’s Note: This is a guest post from freelance writer, Debra Johnson.

There has been a shift in the mindset of women over the years that have begun to steadily push the wife to step into a position of authority. As women strive to gain independence and a strong sense of self, they have also begun to allow this mindset to overtake the husband’s position as the leader of the household. However as wives we are called to submit to our husbands and to lift them up as the leaders of our homes and families, and we need to channel that strength and independence to help our husbands take their rightful place.

1.      Let go of the need to control – Women instinctively want to control everything, from situations to people. In our effort to be successful we try to bend people into becoming who we want them to be. However to let our husbands walk into their rightful role as leader we have to let go of the need to control them and let them step up to the plate.

2.      Be mindful of when constructive criticism turns into full blow life-critiquing – We need to be supportive of our husbands if we want them to lead our families. This means we need to be willing to give our opinion and to give constructive criticism to help figure out problems, but we have to reign in the desire to fall into all-out criticizing. Criticism is a slippery slope because once you start it can be hard to stop criticizing even the smallest and most trivial of things. There is a big difference between constructive criticism and being overly criticizing.

3.      Tell him what you need and then step back – While it’s true that our husbands need to fulfill our needs, they weren’t born knowing everything. You can’t be afraid to open up and explain your needs to them, but you have to be willing to step back and let them fulfill them once you’ve told them what they are. Nagging them constantly will only put up walls in your relationship and cause them to instinctively take a step back instead of taking a step forward.

4.      Don’t be afraid to submit – The Bible clearly tells women that they need to submit to their husbands, however this is something that many women really struggle with. Let your husband be the decision maker so that he can fulfill his rightful role in the home. If you are constantly second-guessing his decisions or questioning his authority you will never find balance.

5.      Turn to God for fulfillment – A lot of finding peace in allowing your husband to be the leader of the household rests in you having a fulfilling relationship with God. You have to be willing to rely on God fully to fulfill all of your needs before you will be able to submit to your husband and help him be the leader he is supposed to be. Make time every day for cultivating a relationship with God.

In theory, submitting to your husband so that he can be the leader of the household sounds like it should be easy. However it can be hard to relinquish our need to control and our impulse to nag and it requires a lot of strength on our part and a solid relationship with God to step back and let our husbands step up. The power of prayer is an amazing thing, so pray about it and pray for your husband.

About the Author:

This guest post is contributed by Debra Johnson, blogger, editor & a knowledge gainer of  being full time nanny.  She welcomes your comments at her email Id: – jdebra84 @

(Interested in being a guest blogger here at Simple Catholic Living? I’d love to have you! You can check out my guest post policy and then contact me!)


  1. I’ve always said that if married couples would cease and desist from trying to rearrange each others faces, they would have a lot fewer problems.

    Regarding submission: married couples must be of one mind and one heart in Christ Jesus as St. Paul says about all Christians. That means being in partnership with one another as two oxen under the yoke. Partnership implies listening to one another, but there is always one lead ox.

    Blind submission with no input (and consequently no responsibility for outcome) is not a good thing because it forces 100% responsibility on the man and leads to destructive games between couples. If we are willing to listen to one another and have healthy give and take, usually we have a happy marriage because both are acting as adults.

    Let’s always remember to let our husbands know how much we appreciate them and the care and concern they show for the family.
    Barb…recently posted…Sunday Snippets – A Catholic CarnivalMy Profile

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